So, I'm still here and still fat. Crazy. Yes, truly, madly crazy. I must be, to keep on like this. It actually gets worse than big knickers, and enormous boobs. This time it's affecting my health. I now have arthritis in my knees. I know it won't go away, but I don't want to hobble like an old, wizened woman from now until my end. It should get easier, IF I LOSE WEIGHT. I've been at Slimming World this time round. Started well, kept failing, slip sliding away to quote Paul Simon. So, for the moment, I'm alone again, naturally! (See what I did there?)
I'm spending a lot of time just thinking...
The past year has been quite a roller coaster. In 2016 we went to Turkey for the first time and had the most amazing holiday. Steve and Sadie decided to try the BIG attraction there, paragliding. I would have done,had I not been WAAAAAAAY over the upper weight limit, so obviously imposed for safety. 😔😔
I talked Steve into returning, because I really wanted to have try. I gave myself a year, give or take, to achieve this goal.
We did return this summer. I had spent quite a few months on a very restrictive food replacement diet, and lost over 50lbs. This took me into the upper end of the safe zone...so off we toddled and booked the "flights". 🙌 I was very nervous but also very, very excited!!
The day came. (Nutshell time...) the weather wasn't quite right "for the heavier passenger" they so carefully explained. There was a limited amount of lift, and to be safe they had to be certain that there was enough to lift away from the mountain top without incident. We rebooked, there and then, for another day.....
Oh no. (No, really....OHNOOHNOONO!!!) My little butterflies that had been there began to dance, with their hobnail boots on. With their hobnail boots and a backpack full of bricks on. Oh bugger. They were not going to go away, were they? I was full of self doubt, and worse, self blame. I hadn't worked hard enough had I? I was still soooo fat, wasn't I? It certainly wold not be safe for a fat bloater like me to go up there, whatever the weather was doing . I mean, have you seen those skinny little strings they hang you from? 😱
So, the upshot was I bottled. Totally, and completely. Utter, full on public meltdown. Sobbing in the street, I ask you? Who does that? This fat girl was. This fat girl needed to be alone to weep and wail and blame herself for everything that's wrong with the world, climate change and wars, poverty and starvation...all my fault because I eat too much. Well, its obvious isn't it? It has to be someone's fault and as I was in such a place of self disgust, the blame for LIFE fell squarely on my very ample shoulders.
Steve went off and flew alone. 😞
Turned out the money was non-refundable. They were very good. They offered boat trips, coach trips, any sort of trip you can imagine by way of a refund. They also, rather rashly I felt, offered to hold my ticket over to next bloomin' summer!! They did! Didn't they know who they were dealing with? The fat girl who fails at pretty much every thing? Were they not aware of the risk they were putting their pilots at? I mean, I might actually take them up on the offer. I might, just might go back.....
The past year has been quite a roller coaster. In 2016 we went to Turkey for the first time and had the most amazing holiday. Steve and Sadie decided to try the BIG attraction there, paragliding. I would have done,had I not been WAAAAAAAY over the upper weight limit, so obviously imposed for safety. 😔😔
I talked Steve into returning, because I really wanted to have try. I gave myself a year, give or take, to achieve this goal.
We did return this summer. I had spent quite a few months on a very restrictive food replacement diet, and lost over 50lbs. This took me into the upper end of the safe zone...so off we toddled and booked the "flights". 🙌 I was very nervous but also very, very excited!!
The day came. (Nutshell time...) the weather wasn't quite right "for the heavier passenger" they so carefully explained. There was a limited amount of lift, and to be safe they had to be certain that there was enough to lift away from the mountain top without incident. We rebooked, there and then, for another day.....
Oh no. (No, really....OHNOOHNOONO!!!) My little butterflies that had been there began to dance, with their hobnail boots on. With their hobnail boots and a backpack full of bricks on. Oh bugger. They were not going to go away, were they? I was full of self doubt, and worse, self blame. I hadn't worked hard enough had I? I was still soooo fat, wasn't I? It certainly wold not be safe for a fat bloater like me to go up there, whatever the weather was doing . I mean, have you seen those skinny little strings they hang you from? 😱
So, the upshot was I bottled. Totally, and completely. Utter, full on public meltdown. Sobbing in the street, I ask you? Who does that? This fat girl was. This fat girl needed to be alone to weep and wail and blame herself for everything that's wrong with the world, climate change and wars, poverty and starvation...all my fault because I eat too much. Well, its obvious isn't it? It has to be someone's fault and as I was in such a place of self disgust, the blame for LIFE fell squarely on my very ample shoulders.
Steve went off and flew alone. 😞
Turned out the money was non-refundable. They were very good. They offered boat trips, coach trips, any sort of trip you can imagine by way of a refund. They also, rather rashly I felt, offered to hold my ticket over to next bloomin' summer!! They did! Didn't they know who they were dealing with? The fat girl who fails at pretty much every thing? Were they not aware of the risk they were putting their pilots at? I mean, I might actually take them up on the offer. I might, just might go back.....
